i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
