I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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