she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
