I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
