How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i drank out of a bidet.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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