i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
