her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
