ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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