He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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