according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
