We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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