and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
