Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Fuck appropriateness.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
