Can i not drive my cunt home
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
