HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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