My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
