I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I love having hate sex.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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