i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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