would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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