yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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