If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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