I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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