the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize
