he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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