I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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