he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
