do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
where are you?
Hypothermia
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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