I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
