She announced her abortion via fbk
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
