I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
