Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize