Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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