I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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