Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
