you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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