In the future we'll all be gay
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think I am morally bankrupt
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Farmville is her only friend.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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