you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My dick has a subreddit
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
