yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
