I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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