Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
