I cockslap morals
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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