I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
