MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
