i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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