I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
