just come out here and I will go home with you...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
