im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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