I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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