We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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