I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
