so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize