So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
