We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
