this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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