he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
