i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize