butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
