Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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