8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
