She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
