dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
